1. Yes he does work that much. 

 

I can't tell you how many times I have had people come to visit us and actually expect to see my husband. If it's during the season, you will see him before the game and after the game. That. Is. All. Even on holidays we may not see our husbands. He will get ZERO days off, unless he is lucky and gets a couple for a bye week.  He leaves early in the morning and gets home late. All season long. 

 

2.  You have more friends when you're winning or on a "popular" team.  

 

Lets face it, some friends come and go depending on your situation. I'm learning who those people are the longer we are in this profession. People really loved visiting us at USC or with the New Orleans Saints, and the visiting has declined since leaving the NFL. Don't think we wives forget who those people are.  

 

3.  We really don't care for your coaching "tips". 

 

Everyone is a coach. The last thing we want to hear after a game is what our husband or another coach "should" have done or played or whatever. If our husband coaches offense that does not mean you can make comments about the defense during the game. Positivity is allowed. 

 

4.  Tickets are not FREE

 

Everyone always assumes that athletes and coaches get free tickets. Some college programs will give coaches a certain amount of tickets and the rest come out of pocket. Or tickets come out of a pay cheque. NFL tickets are not free. Playoff tickets are not free. Bowl game tickets are not free. I'm sure some wives will correct me if I'm wrong. 

 

5. You may NOT come and cheer for the other team and wear their colours.  

 

I've never had it happen, but I've seen family or friends dare come in the opposing team colours. If you want to cheer on the other team do so in your head silently while wearing our colours. 

 

6. Firing and hirings are a way of life  

 

Imagine if your husband or wife got fired and it was on the news or some website?!? There are many ups and downs in coaching. Jobs come and go. Some people get hired right away and some never get hired again. Please respect the process and the families involved.  

 

7. If you get married or plan something during the season my husband will not be attending.  

 

Not sure why but people seem to think my husband can slip away and attend their wedding or party. He can't. I can usually come if I find a sitter or I just do the solo parenting thing like usual. I'm at the point where I am pretty sure the parents in my son's preschool class think I don't have a husbands. Lol

 

8. We really do move around alot and we may choose to stay behind in one place while our kids finish school

We moved 5 times in our first 5 years in coaching. I was lucky and unlucky enough to either be pregnant or with young kids. Which meant I didn't have to change schools or anything yet. I know many wives that stay put a year and let their children finish out.  That doesn't mean they don't support their husband, it just seems for the time being they are doing whats best for the family. 

9. Yes some of us give up or put our careers on hold.

 

Funny thing about coaching is that someone has to be home to raise the children, if you have children, and you tend to move around a lot . I have chosen to put my career on hold, for now. Some may think we live a lavish life of soap opera watching and ladies lunches. The truth is the wife of a coach has to run EVERYTHING. Unlike being a professional athlete, where the careers are short lived and in rare cases support the family for life, being a coach can be the career for the rest of our husband and our lives. Some of our careers require different certifications from state to state which can make it hard for a woman to maintain that career if you tend to move around. Some of us are super human and manage to hold down a career and run the household and I applaud those women. Once my children are in full time school I look forward to getting back to being a massage therapist, but until that time I (truthfully, sometimes resentfully ) will let my husbands career guide and support our family. Sometimes for a moment in our lives our job is to support and nurture another persons dreams. 

10. We are a STRONG group of women that support each other. 

 

In a time when mommy bashing or women putting other women down I have found the football coaches wives community is anything but that.  No one can relate to what you are going through but another coaches wife, and no one will judge you less.  I have had experiences where women felt their was a hierarchy or better than, but I have met more great women along the way. I have been "taught the ropes" and given advice by some of the greatest women I have ever met. I am proud to be a "coaches wife" and hope that I can also inspire and live a life like the women who have taught me.